Revelations and Realizations
by Andromakhe
Summary: A little after the fall of the Empire, Luke finds he needs a change of company. He returns to Tatooine and gets some history lessons. In the process, his Force-sensitive companions learn about each other. Anakin fans should proceed with caution. I have a bias against him.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Star Wars universe isn't mine. Property of Lucas and Disney. But the obsession with it is definitely mine.

Spoilers: "The Clone Wars" cartoon and the movies

A/N: This is a Kentress fic, but the ship is not a dominant part of it. Instead, it centers on Obi-Wan and those closest to him. It was inspired by my other Kentress work and "Redemption," but none of the fics really need to be read to follow this. "Divergence" and "Echoes and Reflections" are also handy reference fics. For dramatic purposes, assume Ventress' sabers are green. And note this fic includes mentions of things that are only my personal fanon, so not totally canon compliant.

It was a couple weeks after the fall of the Empire, and Luke needed to get away. Leia was used to dealing with media interviews and lip service and the complicated business of leading and commanding others. People wanted to know about how he survived the tyrants of the Empire, how they died, and even how he managed to obtain a lightsaber, thinking such things were only legend. When he tried to explain about how he was trained a Jedi, that the Force was a real thing, that he lived now because one Sith turned out to have a conscience buried deep, people found the story incredible. Most people had the tact not to accuse Luke of lying, but he knew through the Force that most everyone found his words absurd. Few, such as politicians who had known Jedi like Kenobi, Windu, and Yoda, believed him, but then, they remembered Anakin before he fell. As a Jedi, he'd learned to have better control over his frustration, but a Jedi is human, and he just couldn't take much more.

On top of this, he felt lonely. Leia was Force-sensitive, but untrained, so she could not understand his longing for others of his kind. Yes, he privately made the distinction between sensitives and blinds and further, trained and untrained. Surprisingly, he found himself longing for Tatooine, probably because he missed Obi-Wan and needed his company and most of his memories of him were there. Luke sighed sadly and lay a hand on his X-Wing, thinking how ironic it was that he'd actually want to return to the place he said he'd never willingly set foot on again. Sure, Tatooine inhabitants weren't always good. Many were dangerous or even deadly. But at least, they were honest. The people he'd had to tolerate of late were false and shallow.

Luke went in search of Han and found him with his trusty Falcon, washing it. Chewie was with him, saying something about wanting to go home. Luke laughed to himself, a tad surprised. But of course, now that he thought of it, Chewbacca might miss his own kind as well. "I'd like to go home, too," he said quietly, standing on Han's other side.

Han and Chewbacca turned toward him. Han looked surprised, but Chewie had already known Luke was close by because of his scent. Chewie growled sympathetically and Han looked annoyed that his other brother was ditching him as well. "So you two are going to leave me alone with the stuffy government types?"

"Are you including Leia in that assessment?" Luke laughed.

"Um…Sort of," Han muttered. "I mean, don't tell her I said that. She's fine when she's not with them, but her…associates make me nervous. Call it force of habit, being a criminal and all."

"We won't be gone forever, and if you can get Leia away from the politicians, think of the quality time you two could have."

That made Han smirk. "Kid, I didn't know you could be so devious."

Luke managed to smile innocently for all that, though his eyes danced with mirth. "Those formal types don't bother me so much. It's the general populace that I need to get away from. They're just so…insincere. I'm sorry to leave you alone. But there's Lando and Leia, and there's always hologram communication while I'm gone. I can't say how long I'll need, but Force willing, I intend to return."

Chewbacca took this opportunity to hug both Han and Luke tightly, and the men hugged Chewie as best they could. He growled at Luke to have a safe journey and that he'd bring Han's regards to his family on Kashyyyk.

"May the Force be with you," Han smiled at Luke and slapped his shoulder.

Luke bowed to Han and returned the smile warmly. "May the Force be with you," he intoned solemnly. "Would you tell Leia I've gone to Tatooine? I think she's too busy to get a hold of just now."

"Will do," Han affirmed, waving goodbye.

"Force be with you, Chewie," Luke smiled, patting Chewbacca on the arm.

Chewbacca growled the appropriate response and Luke got into his X-Wing, feeling lighter immediately as he took off in search of peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, on Tatooine, Asajj Ventress sat in a cool and quiet cave in contemplation and meditation. She could hardly believe it when the Empire fell, but the Force's echoing joy made it impossible to doubt. Long past the age for exuberant emotion, she still felt relief, serenity, contentment, and a twinge of regret that Obi-Wan couldn't be with her physically to share the first taste of freedom. When he'd finally shown up, she noted his immense pride, satisfaction, and happiness. She smiled now as she'd smiled then, unable to begrudge him the savoring of victory. He'd fought in the Clone Wars and the Alliance, and he deserved this triumph. Certainly, she was glad their side had won.

He'd apologized for his tardiness. It seemed she could hide nothing from him anymore. But he explained that a young Knight by the name of Luke Skywalker redeemed an old Padawan and their galaxy, and that the son had held firm where the father had failed him. Luke was the apprentice who validated him as a Master. Asajj had responded that it was about time he got the respect Anakin had owed him. There was no more talk that night and Ventress had drifted to sleep, but over the next days, Obi-Wan told her of Anakin's twins, his guarding Luke, and how he'd been Luke's confidant and subtly trained him in Jedi ways, or at least Jedi worldview. Asajj had remarked then that Luke probably couldn't help absorbing it, since it affected her, too. Obi-Wan had chuckled affectionately and went on to tell of the events from the Death Star to Palpatine's demise. He told of Han and Leia being a couple and Chewbacca's presence, but mostly, he spoke of Luke.

So it was with interest and curiosity that Ventress noted the bright signature like and unlike Anakin that was now in the vicinity of Obi-Wan's old home. She left the cave and moved toward it at a leisurely pace. She wore her lightsabers openly and had her usual hunter garb. Her Force signature she cloaked, but without the Sith influence darkening the Force, Luke should have no trouble discerning her threat to him.

Luke entered the old hut and sat on the meditation mat in the middle of the floor. He didn't meditate, though. Just remembered old times in and around the place. He associated Obi-Wan with calmness, quiet strength, deep sorrow, and firm conviction. Luke could not have known how much his life and experience of the galaxy would expand and change when he embarked on his Jedi training. He found that even though he'd lost his hand, he still had so much to be thankful for. He'd lost his aunt and uncle, but he knew he'd meet them again one day because Obi-Wan proved there was no death, there was the Force. He had great friends who became his new family. The Empire was gone. And the Force…He smiled. He loved being able to have full advantage of his abilities. Because of Yoda's reminders on ethical Force use and his brush with the Dark Side during his Trial of facing his father, he'd never use it irresponsibly or think himself better than those who could not feel it. Speaking of which, what was that darkness approaching?

He got up and stepped outside quickly, lightsaber in hand, reasoning that if he had to run, he'd be better off out in the open. It was afternoon now and his ship wasn't far. It was still a couple hours to sunset. He was torn between heading over there or moving toward the darkness. There was fear rising in him, but at the same time, he'd just got here and didn't want to have to leave so soon. But if there were more Sith in the galaxy…No. That couldn't be right. The Force had changed after the Empire fell. Even after the initial celebrations, it was still bright, except for the presence still moving toward him. If he didn't choose soon, he'd have no choice. A Jedi always tried to survive. There were none he needed to defend and his way was clear. He started toward his ship. Perhaps he could regroup there, calm himself, and try to investigate whoever he was feeling or ask Obi-Wan about it. He was not running but he was jogging quickly.

His ship was in sight when he heard it - the familiar hum of a lightsaber a short distance behind him. He spun, activating his own saber, and stared into the keen blue eyes of a tall woman of a species he wasn't familiar with. He had no time to take in more detail as her lightsabers slashed toward his midsection. With reflexes enhanced by the Force, he dodged and blocked her weapons with his own saber. He realized his assailant had green blades. Jumping over her, he tried to kick her to the ground, but she wasn't falling for such a trick. She nearly took off his foot. Aiming for his unprotected flank, she lunged at him, only to be blocked yet again. He registered he was sensing no malice from this warrior, no hatred, just the thrill of a fight. He traded saber strikes with her and succeeded in making her drop one of her sabers, but she called it back to her and the fight resumed. Luke noted they were heading back toward Obi-Wan's place. Asajj kicked him in the shoulder and disarmed him. He tried to summon his saber but her oncoming blades forced him to divert energy to arresting their motion. He hit the ground and brought his saber up just in time to stop a strike aimed at his chest. He slashed at Ventress' leg, but she leapt over his blade and kicked him in the ribs. Luke jumped up and flung out his hand, using Asajj's momentum to knock her to the ground. He slashed at Asajj's neck, but her sabers were quick, and once again, he found himself without a weapon. He summoned it as Asajj jumped to her feet. They were now quite close to Obi-Wan's home. Luke somersaulted over her and landed behind her, grabbing one of her wrists and twisting painfully, forcing one of her sabers from her grasp. He picked it up and deactivated it, then threw it toward Asajj's active weapon. Before Asajj could react, the saber was destroyed.

Luke felt shock, grief, and then anger emanating from Asajj's signature, which now flared bright and hot. Asajj stabbed at his chest viciously. Luke blocked and jumped back, knowing she now meant business. She lashed out and kicked him in the stomach, winding him. Shoving him onto his back, she straddled his chest and pinned his arms, her remaining saber hovering near his throat and her glare boring into him. "I have killed for lesser offenses, Jedi," she half-hissed, half-growled deep in her throat, showing her teeth. The saber, however, was not close enough to his throat to even accidentally kill him.

Luke eyed her blade, so much like his own, which he deactivated but still clutched in his fingers. He was calm and unafraid. If it was the will of the Force he die now, after redeeming the galaxy, so be it. At least, it didn't appear she was going to torture him as the Emperor had. He shifted his gaze to meet Asajj's eyes. "I believe you, ma'am. I…I'm sorry I was forced to destroy your weapon. It clearly meant a lot to you. If that is an offense deemed worthy of death, I accept your judgment."

Luke felt wrath flare anew in her and she gripped one of his arms so tightly that it caused pain and bruised. "I had these lightsabers since before you were born. I fought with them in the Clone Wars. I even loaned one to Kenobi once when he found himself without any defense." At the mention of the incident with Obi-Wan, Luke heard a sad compassion in her tone. "And where Kenobi was, Skywalker usually wasn't far behind." The name Skywalker dripped contempt.

Luke couldn't help it. She'd said too much of interest. "You knew Anakin and Obi-Wan? And you fought in the Clone Wars? Why didn't you like Anakin if you were on the Jedi side?"

Asajj's eyebrows shot up and then she cackled. "Me, a Jedi? Don't make me laugh. Do I look like a Jedi to you? As for Skywalker, don't get me started. He was arrogant, cruel, spoiled, and selfish. You think he was bad as Vader? Trust me, it wasn't a sudden change. Skywalker was just biding his time, in cahoots with the Emperor to decimate the Jedi after the Clone Wars ended. He massacred your kind and betrayed everyone who was foolish enough to love him, to trust him. You're fortunate Kenobi never told me about you. I was an assassin in the Wars. I'd have found you and killed you and saved the galaxy the trouble of another Anakin. I'd kill you right now, but Kenobi would never forgive me. And that's **saying** something for him." She released Luke and edged toward Obi-Wan's door, deactivating her saber and watching him. Yes, Obi-Wan vouched for him, but he was still a Skywalker. "Get up, Jedi. I sense the things I've said have unsettled you. Let's talk inside."

Luke was absolutely floored, both by the intensity of this warrior's hatred toward his father and the equally intense love she bore Obi-Wan. Anakin had massacred Jedi? Anakin, and not Vader? Obi-Wan had been careful to mention only good things about Anakin, but this woman had known Anakin as well and from what she said, he should hate him even more than Vader. No. Jedi don't hate. But isn't it just to hate someone who had betrayed Obi-Wan? Because Luke knew Obi-Wan had loved Anakin. He sat up, shaking his head in confusion, and got to his feet. He attached his lightsaber to his belt and Asajj did the same. Luke flanked Ventress as they walked in silence inside the hut and sat on the floor across from each other, legs crossed.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Luke who broke the silence. "I don't believe we've been introduced. May I ask your name? I'm Luke Skywalker." He extended his mechanical hand.

Asajj gave a half-smile. "Did Kenobi train you to have such pretty manners? I don't know if you're aware of it but you…feel a lot like him." She shook his hand. "I'm Asajj Ventress, Dathomirian and former Sith assassin."

"Sith? But you don't feel like a Sith. I **know** what a Sith feels like in the Force."

**"Former** Sith," Asajj corrected.

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Luke nodded. "I know you don't like my father but I have to know. What do you mean, he massacred Jedi?"

Asajj sneered contemptuously. "What, you need the definition of 'massacre' explained? You didn't understand when I said 'decimated' your people? Did you ever wonder why Kenobi and Master Yoda were the only Jedi you knew? It was once a thriving Order. Have you seen the Temple ruins on Coruscant?"

"Father did that?" Luke whispered, anguished.

Brutally, Asajj drove the point home. "Cut down the people who raised and trusted him with no mercy or remorse. Kenobi told me no one was spared. Not the old, not the young, not the infirm. No one."

"How could he?" Luke whimpered in disbelief.

Implacably. "I can't answer that."

"Why did he?" Luke tried.

With rising, but controlled, frustration. "Again, I don't know. But rage like that is often extremely personal. I'm betting he bore a massive grudge against the Jedi as a whole or specific individuals and hated everyone enough to not care who was in his way to get to his targets. Or he could have just enjoyed the blood and terror. That's not entirely out of the question, either. I was Sith; I should know."

"Wait. He enjoyed the fact people were afraid of him?"

"Every Sith does."

"But why?"

Asajj sighed, shaking her head almost pityingly. "Because…Do you know the power of holding another's life in your hand? Have you felt downtrodden before? Have you ever thought that no one cared if you lived or died?"

"I'm afraid not, ma'am," Luke murmured, feeling sad. "I always had friends, as a child and as an adult. I know what it is to hold lives in my hands, but not to kill, but to try to protect. And I always knew at least one person loved me."

"How can you love yourself when no one has shown you that you are worthy? How can you value life when you yourself are going nowhere and have no way of changing your circumstances? Why would you want to preserve a galaxy full of beings who never cared for you? Why would complete strangers matter when people use each other for their own gain anyway? And so, the Sith way is to play on people's desires, on their attachments to others, on their hatred of self or situation. You can get revenge, they say. And you can. But it's only a temporary happiness. After the vengeance comes remorse and shame, unless you have no conscience whatsoever, but few are that evil. So don't think you are better than me. You were merely more fortunate, and that because of adults who made choices for you."

Luke bowed his head. "No, ma'am. I'm only sorry you had such a hard life. I'm grateful for the sacrifices my family and Obi-Wan made for me. But what changed your mind? You're clearly not a Sith now. Why did you leave them, and why did my father join them?"

"I didn't actually leave by choice. I was betrayed by my Master. He wounded me callously and left me to die. Only I didn't. I got into a brief fight with Skywalker and Kenobi and escaped that battle and commandeered a ship to Dathomir, Force choking the former occupants to death. I was healed on planet. I don't know why Skywalker joined the Sith. But I can tell you that those who find the Sith appealing usually want power and an excuse to kill and destroy with abandon. I'm certain the Jedi enforce restrictions and morality, things a Sith doesn't have to bother with. In fact, the crueler, the better."

"Yeah. Being electrocuted with lightning is the definition of cruel," Luke muttered, shuddering in memory.

"I sympathize," Asajj murmured.

"You've **felt** it?" Luke asked, horrified.

"Didn't you **hear** me? It is the Sith way to inflict pain. They don't **care** if you are one of their own. The way they see it, it makes you stronger. More angry, more hateful."

Luke just looked crestfallen. "How could my father join such an organization? How could that kind of thing appeal to him? Obi-Wan said he was a Jedi. If he had been, he'd never have worked for our enemies."

"Kenobi," Asajj growled. "Answer him. I don't know the convoluted intricacies of Skywalker's motivations. I know some of his history, but you know I never liked to talk much about him."

Two Force ghosts appeared next to them, Obi-Wan by Asajj and Anakin next to Luke, and sat down in the same poses. "Master, I don't want to talk to Luke in front of **her,"** Anakin complained.

"Padawan, I'm not kicking Asajj out of this house," Obi-Wan retorted in exasperation. "It's practically hers, anyway. I have no need of a home now."

"We're not going to get along," Anakin grumbled.

Obi-Wan ignored that comment.

Luke looked at Obi-Wan, who was now an old version of General Kenobi. Anakin was still the young Knight he remembered. It was strange to see a man who looked as young as him but was his father.

"Some things never change, eh?" mocked Ventress, grimacing and looking at Anakin. **"Skywalker."**

"At least, the feeling's mutual, **Ventress,"** spat Anakin.

Obi-Wan sighed wearily. Luke reached out to try to pat his forearm but then remembered and withdrew his hand, shaking his head in sympathy. Obi-Wan chuckled and offered a grateful smile. "Reminds me of you and Han," Luke chuckled. And then, somewhat embarrassed, "What's a Padawan?"

"An apprentice," the three chorused simultaneously. Asajj and Anakin glared at each other.

"Ah. If only I'd been trained in the traditional ways," Luke lamented. "But I guess times were different after the Clone Wars. Obi-Wan said so."

Anakin stiffened and looked away from the group. Asajj snorted scathingly. It was his own fault, after all.

Obi-Wan spoke up. "Perhaps it was better you weren't trained traditionally. Such ways hadn't worked out well at all for Anakin, and you were raised a civilian, so you may have misunderstood them as he had. At any rate, there was no choice. Traditional ways mean traditional tasks, like diplomacy, humanitarian work, and guarding Senators. I could not show my affiliation so plainly, and your uncle would never have allowed your training even if I could." Obi-Wan's tone was subdued.

"Father, how could you do that to him? To me? Killing the Jedi and forcing your friends and family to endure the Empire? Didn't our future matter to you? You even broke the Code by getting married and having children and obliterated Leia's homeworld. I can't even list everything you've done, directly or indirectly."

"Son, I never intended for things to get so bad, to get so out of control. All my life, I've been under someone's thumb, wanted only for my Force abilities or skills. The only person I thought loved me for me was my mother, but then she was tortured to death by Sand People. I touched the Dark Side for the first time then, slaughtering the entire camp I found her in, including women and younglings. And you know what? It felt good. After that, murder got easier and easier to do until, by the time I entered the Emperor's service, it ceased to phase me and I felt like I was getting revenge for the way I was treated by the galaxy every time people died."

Luke and Obi-Wan stared at each other with identical looks of horror. Asajj showed nothing on her face, but in the Force, she projected empathy and mild discomfort that she actually understood Anakin's rage and revelry in the Dark Side.

Anakin continued. "I loved your mother, Padme, beyond reason, beyond words, at first sight. I grew to love Obi-Wan over time. It was his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, that my heart had bonded to, though. But Qui-Gon was slain by another of the Emperor's apprentices, and I think that's when everything was doomed. I'd left my mother and my home in Mos Espa to become a Jedi, but I never thought Qui-Gon could be killed. He was invincible to me. The Jedi were superhuman, able to make whatever they wanted happen. I was too young to know that everything dies and that some rules just cannot be changed.

"Over the years, as Padawan to Obi-Wan, it seemed like all the Jedi wanted me for was to destroy the Sith. They didn't care about my happiness and sought to control me. Certainly, I resented having to obey Obi-Wan. I was taken from my mother only to be enslaved by an organization that claimed they didn't enslave people, yet I had a Master. Still, despite the hated Jedi Council, the dull diplomacy, and all the rules, I didn't want to lose Obi-Wan. I could have left the Jedi and married Padme, but then, I'd never see Master. So I tried to keep both and couldn't be a good Knight or husband.

"And then the Clone Wars began, and all the fighting and destruction darkened the Force and made everyone evil. Even good people like Master were not immune. I'm convinced the War is where he learned to lie. And I don't mean only telling part of the truth. That's been his way since I've known him. No. I'm talking true lies. He once faked his own death and broke my heart, and all for a mission, a mission that turned out to be totally unnecessary because it was in service to the Emperor. Well, no one knew he was the Emperor at the time. He was Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Old Republic and the Army. Everyone thought he was a normal, ambitious politician. Because the Force was clouded, the Jedi couldn't see the Chancellor's true face, the Sith Master. Eventually, I forgave Obi-Wan for the ruse. But it was never forgotten, and it was easier to hate him later because of it.

"And behind all of this mounting hatred was the Emperor. I was close to him. He was like my dad. I guess, he was what Qui-Gon should have been and Obi-Wan was too young to be. It's not Master's fault. It really isn't." Here, Anakin sounded truly sympathetic and even touched Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Master had a hard time, too. He hadn't trained a Padawan before, I never obeyed him, the pain of losing his Master plus the stresses of the War - everything combined to make him just as snappish and irritable as I could be. But you know how I said Master has always been one to pick and choose what information he gives? Well, he and I were never totally honest with each other. I think when Qui-Gon died, he resented me as I resented him, as someone he never wanted to train and someone I never wanted as a Master. Friend? Sure. Brother? Certainly. But not a Master.

"So Palpatine became my confidant, someone to complain about Obi-Wan to. Obi-Wan, the Council, the Jedi, and whatever annoyed me at the time. Palpatine was a good actor, pretending to be sympathetic, on my side, encouraging my pride and turning me against Master. The bitter irony in all this is that I was totally honest with Palpatine. I kept nothing hidden. Palpatine, of course, also picked and chose what information he gave. It was only after I'd destroyed everyone I ever loved because of his skewed guidance and my own irrational fear that I realized what Master had always said from the beginning - the Dark Side destroys, and even stars die.

"I figured it was too late for me after that. But being a Sith, I also feared death. I could not be a Jedi but did not have the courage to leave the plane of the living. So I lived on the Dark Side and used my own self-loathing to fuel it. Vader hated Master, but I loved him. Vader and I both didn't like me.

"You asked if your future and that of Obi-Wan mattered to me. When you and Leia were conceived, the Old Republic was still standing and I had no idea I would kill so many and help to build an Empire. I just wanted to be in control for once. And then I had Force visions of Padme dying in childbirth and, desperate not to lose her as I lost my mother, I gave the Emperor the power to finally break me. Obi-Wan always said my greatest flaw, apart from my arrogance, was my focus on the negative. Master was always right." He met Obi-Wan's eyes and touched his hand, smiling sadly.

Obi-Wan sighed and Luke felt something very close to despair coming from him. Luke wished he could hug both him and his father, comfort them or make them smile. But so much had gone so wrong, and all things considered, Luke hadn't had that bad of a life. "Qui-Gon and Palpatine stand out to me. But Obi-Wan was both of them for me. After all, Obi-Wan was slain by a Sith and I complained to him about everything. Like you, I held nothing back from him."

Anakin blinked in surprise, but then nodded slowly. "I hadn't known who you were then. I did feel your rage in the Force, but mostly, I was annoyed that Obi-Wan had disappeared. No body to gloat over, you know? And the sickening realization that once again, Obi-Wan had spoken true and I disobeyed his warning."

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Business as usual," he muttered. "But then, I was counting on you not listening." He smiled wryly.

"What was the warning? And when else didn't you listen? I actually hadn't listened to him, either, which was what cost me my hand. He'd said it was my abilities the Emperor wanted, but I couldn't desert my friends. Irrational fear."

"Master said that if I killed him, he'd become more powerful than I could imagine. As a Sith, that made absolutely no sense. If you lose life, you lose power. But well…" He gestured at himself and Obi-Wan. "I can assure you, I have more power now than I ever did when alive. We can walk through walls, hear the tiniest sound, look at every minute detail of every rock and every life. And we can talk to you and any other Force-sensitive we choose, though that is a skill that takes a special kind of training.

"I lost my limbs and nearly my life because I didn't listen to him. I suppose from a certain perspective, I died." He nodded to Obi-Wan.

"Anakin was very contrary. Whatever I said we should do, he thought he knew better. Seemed like he took the opposing view just for the sake of argument at times.

"Going back to Qui-Gon, another similarity between us was that we set you Skywalkers on the Jedi path. As Master spoke to Anakin about the Force, I spoke to you, and though we were both barred from formally training you, we did what we could verbally and by action. At the risk of alienating you or Anakin, however, I'd like to say this. It's my opinion Anakin became a Jedi for all the wrong reasons, and that he was too controlling to truly be successful. With you, Luke, I was careful to explain the tenets of the Jedi - that we serve, that we do our best to maintain moral high ground, that we accept death, knowing that one day, we'll meet again. I taught you that love and compassion are good things and that possession and attachment are not. You absorbed all these things, and combined with your aunt's tenderness and your uncle's discipline, you've grown to be a fine man and a fine Knight. You love your friends, but do not expect anything beyond what is reasonable.

"Anakin was too inflexible to be molded. As a boy, he did follow orders, but even then, there was a possessiveness to him. He knew Qui-Gon for all of five days, and he mourned him as though he'd known him for over a decade. But maybe losing his mother and his hero so close together in time was just too much. I confess that I was jealous of Anakin. I didn't like him on sight. The fact Qui-Gon was kind to him and critical of me didn't help matters. And then his training fell to me, so yes, I was resentful. Like you, Luke, I was an apprentice forced to watch as Maul, one of Sidious' former apprentices, ran Qui-Gon through with his saber. I shouted in grief and rage and bisected Maul savagely. It was the closest I ever came to the Dark Side. Only Anakin's fall hurt more. And I held Master in my arms as he begged me to train the one who would bring balance to the Force. Because the Force actually began darkening from that point. But Master didn't know Palpatine would ruin everything. All he knew was that I was capable of the job and that for his sake, I'd do my best. It's as Anakin said. It was a disaster from the start. Master Yoda should have trained Anakin. Yoda knew I was doing it for the wrong reasons, but because I made a promise to my Master, he could not really encourage me to break my word."

"Your Master **what?" **Asajj burst out. She drew her remaining saber and turned it on, getting up and swinging it, eyes narrowed in fury. "I'm actually angry at Maul for killing him. I want the pleasure. How **dare** he?"

Anakin and Asajj actually agreed for once. "Blackmail," Anakin whispered. "No wonder you hated me."

"I hate to say it," said Luke, "but I kind of agree with Asajj. How could he be so heartless? Mortally wounded, you cradling him like you love him, and he can't even tell you that you meant something to him? He had to have seen or sensed how you felt about Father. I don't think any of us here can blame you for that. Not even Father. Instead, he takes the opportunity to manipulate you into doing what he wants because you can't say no? How can you care for someone like that?"

Asajj turned off her saber and began pacing around the room.

"But what about me, Luke?" Obi-Wan inquired. "You weren't happy that I deceived you about Anakin. I used you, too, to do what I could not, to destroy him. You could have died, but your love for me has not diminished."

"That's different," Luke retorted. "You had good reasons for keeping secrets. The Empire made it necessary. And you weren't using me to destroy Anakin, but Vader. Yes, I could have died, but I do not fear that. I was willing to die rather than be corrupted to the Dark Side. Obi-Wan, you preferred to die rather than to kill Father. I learned what a Jedi is from you. I would not dishonor you or fail Father if I could help it. You believed in me when even Master Yoda, wisest of the Jedi, did not wish to train me. Whether you like it or not, you have my love and loyalty forever."

"If we were all judged solely on our mistakes, none of us would be worthy of love," Obi-Wan said sternly. "But my life revolved around three Jedi - you, Anakin, and Master. I learned what a Jedi is from Master, who fell in combat for my sake. He had secondary reasons for fighting Maul to the death, such as keeping him from going after your mother, but she was far from us at the time and had a retinue of security with her. It was me who was in the most immediate danger. Maul separated us during the battle and I fell behind, and Qui-Gon took what he knew was a life-threatening risk to keep it that way.

"Luke, I fell defending a Padawan. You were the future of the Jedi and the galaxy. You had to survive at every cost. Such is the promise every Master makes, to protect a Padawan at the cost of his life if need be. I had secondary reasons, of course, like the Death Star plans and your friends, but you were priority. Even so, young one, do not think we Masters chose as we did solely for duty. I would have made the same choice even if you'd already been a Knight. You had so much life ahead, so much potential to fulfill, so much to do. My Jedi self and I as a person were in agreement, and I am certain my own Master felt exactly the same about me. Do you understand?" Obi-Wan's eyes bore into Luke's, steadily, unblinkingly, almost unnervingly.

Luke could only nod in speechless awe, his heart too full of gratitude and amazement at the depth of the love Obi-Wan felt for him. Yes, Obi-Wan had been like a father to him. Uncle Owen had provided for him, given him his physical needs for survival, but it was Obi-Wan who'd taught him how to see the world, how to manage emotion, what to value.

Obi-Wan addressed the entire group. "The three of you hear about one error made by a man none of you know and all of you wish to condemn and kill him. But I have spent significant time with all of you and have hurt all of you and yet you all are angry on my behalf. Because for one mistake, there were nine other times we got it right. For the record, Master told me I was wiser than him, that I'd been a good apprentice, and that I'd be a great Jedi before the ill-fated meeting with Maul. We'd gotten into a fight concerning whether Anakin should be trained. I and the Council sensed anger in him, and Master Yoda cited his age. Anakin was nine and Jedi prefer to raise younglings from infancy traditionally. Qui-Gon believed in Anakin and he believed I could teach Anakin what was good and honorable. I told him what I thought, he said Anakin's future was not set in stone, and that should have been the end of it. But I said Anakin was dangerous, Master got angry, and since I already didn't like Anakin, I got angry as well and we didn't talk to each other until I apologized for forgetting my place. A Padawan can disagree, but should not keep pushing the point once the concern has been acknowledged. It was then he'd praised me and we reconciled.

"All of us have had similar disagreements. But it's not the totality of our interactions by any means. I have good memories of all of you. I have good memories of him. That is how I can love someone so 'heartless.'"

Luke lowered his head in shame. Asajj stopped pacing and resumed her place beside Obi-Wan, looking sideways at him. Anakin fidgeted and looked away toward one wall. But then, he moved to Obi-Wan's other side and threw an arm around his shoulders, grinning over at him. "Master, we were both so sad in the beginning of my apprenticeship. We had so much in common but couldn't see it for our grief. But my first good memory of us was when you introduced me to chocolate. There's no such thing on Tatooine. Luke, have you tried it? If not, you really should. It was a pastry from Dex's. Obi-Wan had laughed at my exuberance, and from that moment, we began to build a friendship."

Obi-Wan smiled warmly. "There were also countless companionable silences where we worked on fighters." He patted Anakin's shoulder. "And all the times I thought you would kill us with what you call piloting."

Anakin laughed outright. "That was part of the fun."

Obi-Wan sighed in affectionate exasperation, but still had a small smile.

Luke spoke up. "Dex's? And no, I actually haven't tried it. Sounds expensive if it comes from Coruscant. I bet Jabba had some at one time. I'll ask Leia if she can get me a sample."

"Dex was a Besalisk and a friend to the Jedi," Obi-Wan explained. "He ran a restaurant. The pastries weren't all that expensive, but yes, I thought Anakin would like to try something different and I thought food is always a good ice breaker." He smiled fondly.

Luke grinned. "Oh, that sounds amazing.

"I knew Obi-Wan as Ben. As the only other Force-sensitive that I knew as I was growing up, I felt a special bond with him. If he hadn't been with me, I'd have been very lonely and would have had no idea there were others who had our gift. I didn't know that our abilities came from the Force at the time, but I could sense from his signature that he had them, too. You know how it is. The fact the Force was calm and steady around him indicated his training, and I noticed the control without fully comprehending the meaning until I became a youth and could reason out the difference.

"Uncle Owen hated the Force and resented the Jedi for the Clone Wars. The Wars, as you probably know, caused civilians a lot of problems with getting even basic needs met, like food. Since Aunt and Uncle were moisture farmers, it was likely even worse for them. Obi-Wan reminded me, though, that despite Uncle's dislike of his affiliation, he still took me in and couldn't allow a baby to suffer for something that wasn't his fault. Uncle expected obedience from me and worked hard to support me and my aunt. Because of this, I learned that nothing is free and everything must be earned. Uncle told me Father was a navigator on a freighter and Obi-Wan had died. Obi-Wan said Uncle didn't want me to follow him on some idealistic crusade. What, like the Rebel Alliance?" He laughed at Obi-Wan, who chuckled quietly. "You can gloat that you were right." Obi-Wan shook his head, frowning in disapproval. Luke looked away sheepishly. Asajj pursed her lips and whispered, "Ow," but too softly for Luke to hear.

"Aunt Beru went the other extreme. She was affectionate and indulgent. She knew my favorite treats, my favorite meals. When my inability to control the Force resulted in mishap, like breaking things or otherwise making a mess, she'd clean up without complaint. She was often sad at those times because she couldn't override Uncle's refusal to allow me Jedi training but knew in her heart it was wrong for me to be denied it. She loved us all - me, Uncle, and Obi-Wan. She knew Obi-Wan was good for me, but was in a bind. She knew the Force made me different, set me apart. She didn't like or dislike it. It was just a part of me. But neither of them understood the Force and what it's like to live with it, so they couldn't always help me.

"And then, there was Obi-Wan, who was kind, also expected respect and obedience, but tempered that strictness by connecting emotionally. We used to work on vaporators. He taught me to meditate, to shield my mind from the din caused by Force-blinds, and he was always there to put up with my complaints about Uncle Owen, and chores, and not being allowed to have any fun. He helped me to work through a lot of frustration and always tried to get me to forgive Uncle, saying Uncle loved me and maybe he was critical and overbearing but he wanted to keep me away from the Empire. And he had holodiscs of Old Republic songs, some of which he said he'd known from his teenage years. I liked them."

"Critical and overbearing," Anakin muttered. "Sounds like Master."

"Hey," Luke snapped, "how many times did Obi-Wan try to warn you about the Dark Side? The Empire was the face of the Dark Side. It's the same thing Owen was trying to do, just in a civilian way."

Obi-Wan nodded. "That's why your uncle and I tolerated each other. We both wanted to protect you."

Anakin and Asajj looked thoughtful at that statement. Luke noted how Asajj turned toward Obi-Wan and reached for his hand, how her eyes met his and her expression gentled. Anakin had moved a little in front of Obi-Wan, turned toward Luke, eyes fierce with a brother's protectiveness. Luke knew that feeling; it was the same one he'd had when Leia was threatened. Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin's forearm and reached toward Asajj's outstretched fingers, his own eyes tender.

Asajj spoke quietly. "I first met Kenobi in combat. I flirted with him. He played along. He couldn't resist me. Could you, dear one?" The endearment was spoken seductively as she winked at Obi-Wan.

"I was lost from the start, darling," Obi-Wan smirked, his tone sultry.

Anakin grimaced in disgust. Luke laughed. "Ma'am, I could tell when we fought that you loved Obi-Wan. For his sake, you couldn't kill me." He looked over at Anakin, beside him again. "Father, that's what love is. I understand you felt used and abused by the Jedi, but I can't understand how you could have destroyed them if you loved Obi-Wan. And even if the Dark Side had saved Mother, would she have thanked you? I hated Vader. You don't need me to tell you how Leia feels. Obi-Wan had no love for him. How did all of our pain not matter?"

"I…" Anakin began, but then hid his face behind his hands. "There's no excuse."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Then Asajj changed the subject. "Since we're giving life stories, I suppose I owe the Skywalkers mine.

"I was born to the Nightsisters, a Force-sensitive group native to Dathomir. But they were attacked one day and I was given away to save the group from certain death. I was a slave and served a master on Rattatak. But then, a Jedi crashed on the planet and freed me. I became his Padawan as a child, but then he was cut down when I was a teenager. His name was Ky Narec and he was one who believed that I could be more than I was. I had hope for a future with him and I loved him like a father. So you can imagine my rage when I saw him murdered. He'd been trying to protect me. Ky's careful warnings about the Dark Side were abandoned as I gave in completely and killed everything that moved, starting with his murderer.

"After that, my life was steeped in blood and seduction. I had to fend for myself and did what I had to. Sold my body and my services as an assassin. One day, about seven years after Ky's death, Dooku, another of the Emperor's apprentices, held a competition for an assassin he would train in the ways of the Sith. We were tested in stealth, speed, cunning, and general combat prowess. I should explain here that I hated the Jedi because they were a reminder of what I'd lost and on top of that, they were arrogant hypocrites who said they upheld good things but didn't really prove it with their actions. I thought they were in the Senate's pocket and would do anything for credits. Needless to say, Dooku chose me and my brutal training began.

"It went on like that for about the same amount of time Ky trained me, and then the Wars began. As Dooku's assassin, I was an automatic enemy of the Jedi, which suited me fine. I killed quite a few of you and felt satisfaction, but then I met Kenobi and my perception of your kind began to shift. Perhaps not all of you were bad. Maybe there were some who had compassion, some who were like Ky.

"And then, Dooku betrayed me and I sought the help of my Sisters. But in seeking vengeance on Dooku, I failed and only succeeded in alerting him to the fact I wasn't killed. For my mistake, the Nightsisters were massacred by General Grievous, another of Dooku's servants. I was there and saw friends killed. Only I and the clan leader, Mother Talzin, survived.

"Then I began bounty hunting. In the course of hunting for a Zabrak named Savage, who should I run into but Kenobi, with his own enemy, Maul. Yes, Maul was a Zabrak and a trained Sith, and presumably the Dark Side enabled him to survive Obi-Wan's butchery. When I ran into him, Maul had taken his lightsaber, so I lent Obi-Wan one of mine. Unfortunately, I got no bounty that day, since Maul bested him and we just had to escape. But I never forgot that fight. It was the first time we'd met as allies rather than enemies. And one day, I'd lost my sabers and Obi-Wan found them and returned them, at great risk to his reputation. I was a war criminal and if anyone knew what Kenobi had done, he'd probably have been stripped of rank and privilege. So you see, Jedi, why I was so upset when you destroyed one of my weapons?"

Luke nodded. "It's almost a symbol of your relationship to Obi-Wan. But all I thought of at the time was eliminating a threat."

Asajj nodded. "I know. I don't blame you.

"Kenobi and I met in the Mos Eisley cantina after the War, and there's not much else to say. I've been here ever since, in between jobs."

Anakin found that he empathized with Asajj's lack of a home, her shattered hopes, and the fact she was often alone. People used her, too, except…Anakin looked at Obi-Wan sharply.

Luke addressed Obi-Wan. "I'm sorry, but it's still unacceptable to me. This betrayal of trust. Why did Father and Asajj forsake the Jedi way when we didn't? How can they say they loved you and Ky?"

"People show and define love in different ways. You and I - we're obedient and faithful to what we're taught. If we love someone, they often know it because we sacrifice for them and are ourselves with them. 'Snappish and irritable' is what Anakin called it. I think of it more as showing imperfections. I believe Anakin and Asajj show love by kindness. They give gifts, say nice things, and above all, they keep loved ones near. Notice how the loss of loved ones devastated them? You and I mourned those we lost but we sought to uphold the things they believed and eventually accepted their deaths. The other two could not let go and begrudged the loss of their presences in their lives. Love, for them, is defined by the people they can't bare losing. So falling to the Dark Side was not necessarily treasonous to them. It's worse to play with their emotions or not care how they feel. But the Jedi are so goal-oriented that we often deem the objective more important than the person carrying it out, so I think Anakin couldn't tolerate that."

"But that's not right. I mean, you've always been patient with me when I've complained, and I think you genuinely cared that I was frustrated, even if the complaints were actually trivial teenage worries. Does that mean you didn't love me, because you cared how I felt?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "Um…That's not quite what I meant. But which upset you more, me not telling you that Vader and Anakin were the same person or my assertion that your training was more important than your friends? Both upset you, but which was less forgivable?"

"Well, I actually confronted you about Father and made it clear I wasn't happy about it. Yes, I couldn't believe you told me to let Han and Leia die, but a part of me understood that the mission took precedence. Not telling me about Father felt like a lack of faith in me, like I either wouldn't become a Jedi or would fall to the Dark Side if I knew the truth. It was almost insulting."

Anakin chimed in. "I'd have been more upset to be told to ditch my friends. In fact, Master told me to be disloyal to them several times in service to a mission. Like the time he wanted me to destroy a ship during the Clone Wars with R2 on it because he had our battle strategies and important Republic information that should not fall into enemy hands. I managed to rescue R2 and destroy the ship, but if I had to sacrifice that objective for R2, I would have."

"I see." Luke nodded. "And you thought Obi-Wan didn't love you because the mission was more important than how you felt about R2?"

"I hadn't thought of it like that, but now that you mention it, that's exactly how I felt. Like if he loved me, he wouldn't be asking me to do that." Anakin nodded.

Obi-Wan answered Luke. "I had faith in you, Luke, but Anakin's fall made me wary. And, well, how do you tell a young boy that his father is a Sith Lord? Particularly when his father only exists as an abstraction? It felt like since you didn't have him physically, it was cruel to also destroy his image. At least, I had Qui-Gon, who was able to complete my training. I didn't have to be trained by two Masters. I was fortunate enough to have many moments to cherish with him. You had none with your own father. I didn't know how to do it kindly, so I said Vader killed him."

"You know, when you put it like that, I appreciate your consideration immensely. I guess between you three, I have a truer idea of who Father is now. And though I still can't understand the appeal of the Dark Side, I get how the Emperor tricked Father. He pretended to be nice. With me, the Emperor didn't bother hiding his true self."

"Obi-Wan did train you well," Anakin nodded. "He taught me everything he taught you. I just didn't want to hear it. Master, I'm glad you lead Luke on good paths. He really is someone I can be proud of."

"Thanks, Father," Luke smiled.

Obi-Wan merely nodded to Anakin.

"Master, you're so unemotional about these things," Anakin grumbled.

Obi-Wan shrugged.

Asajj laughed. "Get used to it, Skywalker. He isn't going to change for you. Which is just the way I like it, honestly." That earned her a bright smile. "See? He can be emotional. You just have to know what to say."

Luke chuckled merrily. "You two are sweet together. Did you start dating when you met in Mos Eisley?"

"No. But soon after. It was the will of the Force," Obi-Wan murmured.

"Are you married?" Luke asked curiously.

"We couldn't," Obi-Wan said sadly. "Too conspicuous."

"Oh yeah." Luke frowned.

"Wait, they're a couple?" Anakin raised his eyebrows.

"Well, yeah. Isn't it obvious?"

"Skywalker doesn't do subtle, Jedi," Asajj smirked.

"Luke. Please call me Luke. Calling me 'Jedi' can get confusing."

"I see your point. Luke." She offered him a genuine smile. He grinned back and winked conspiratorially.

"Master, you broke the Code?"

"I guess so," Obi-Wan said cheerfully. "Master was highly amused. He's a bad influence. His reasoning was that the Order fell, so the old Code was no longer relevant."

Obi-Wan gave a warm chuckle that had Luke reaching out to try to touch him again. "It's nice to hear you actually sound happy. You used to laugh sometimes when you were alive, but it didn't have the ring of joy it does now. It was more often sad."

"Well, it doesn't matter now. Life concerns become trivial after you join the Force. You'll see."

"I hope you'll still be there when I get there."

"Something tells me we all will be."

Asajj got up and stretched. "As pleasant as talk of death is, I'm afraid I have to be going. There is much to think about and I'm tired besides. But since I don't know Luke all that well, it'd be awkward to stay here if he's going to spend the night. Obi-Wan, you can stay here if you like. I know the Skywalkers mean something to **you,** if not me."

Luke and the ghosts stood as well. Obi-Wan glanced at Asajj with concern and nodded kindly. "Can I walk you home?" Luke teased, his tone vaguely suggestive and his grin playful..

Asajj laughed with sincere amusement. "Kenobi, now I'm **sure** you trained him." Obi-Wan chuckled happily, his eyes shining with pride. "Luke, my dear," she purred, "I've learned to appreciate such offers, but it's not necessary. Wouldn't want my Knight to become jealous." She smirked at Luke and Obi-Wan. "But before I go-" she clasped Luke's real hand and met his eyes solemnly, "thank you for freeing the galaxy. Since the Sith are no more, I have nothing to fear. And because of you, Kenobi no longer carries the regret of Skywalker's fall. Knight Luke,, even if you do nothing else as a Jedi, you'd still be deserving of the title in my estimation. But I'm sure you'll do even more, since you love Obi-Wan. I'm glad to have met you." She dropped Luke's hand and waited for a reply.

Luke bowed with respect. "It was Father who killed the Emperor, but maybe thanking him is too much to ask of you. I understand what kind of praise you've just given me. I will remember your words always, and your honesty. It's not really an apprentice's place to say this, but I'm glad Obi-Wan's with you. May the Force be with you always, in case we never meet again."

She bowed to Luke. "May the Force be with you, young Knight." She nodded politely to Anakin, who returned the gesture, and blew a kiss to Obi-Wan, who followed her into the twilight.

Luke smiled after them. He had found what he came for. He lay on the floor and closed his eyes in contentment, touching the Force signatures of his father, his Master, and a new friend.


End file.
